my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
