People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
