Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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