marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
