are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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