He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When are your genitals available?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
