Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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