I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
