I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
