Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
