I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
