true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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