So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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