So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
