well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
