Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
