i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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