Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
