Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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