I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
