I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
