it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
