I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
