dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
