Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
