i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
