Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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