i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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