normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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