It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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