return my video game
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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