Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
