I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
In other news, I just burned my penis
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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