some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
