Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just blew my weed a kiss
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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