My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
