Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
