there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
