Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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