Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It's not a walk of shame if you run
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
