They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
