Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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