is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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