Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
