just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
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