Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
