Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Enjoy the penises
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
