you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
