he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
