I want to have your abortion
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
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