No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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