I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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