Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
