What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
