How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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