thus making me awesome and them whores
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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