You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize