I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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