He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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