Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
