out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
