dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
