OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
