my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
You don't make any sense
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